For our past weekend journey to Jacmel, I made up a little playlist for the road trip with some of my recent favs and on the twisty drive home through the mountains I plugged in. I didn't have the songs in any particular order, but it quickly occurred to me how they were all playing towards the same message - as if I had spent hours working on directing them towards the same theme.
Lyrics like 'wake on up from your slumber', 'one man wakes with dawn in his eyes, surely then it multiplies' and 'why would I wait till I die to come alive'?
Notice the trend?
Ironically, the music that I have collected to make my life a little rosier has actually become my greatest discomfort and conviction. As I've cranked up the volume and hummed along with the words, I've actually grown more and more aware of my need to make these lyrics a reality... Stepping beyond comfort lines and pouring out myself moment by moment. And that just isn't what I was planning on when I downloaded them.
In our Bible study over the past few weeks, we've been talking about what it means to follow Jesus and we've been honest that it's easy to cop-out to the tough stuff because we live in Haiti. After living here for 3+ years, I admit that it's really not that uncomfortable anymore. But when I feel the Lord nudging me to step out in something new as He's been doing, I hesitate because I think I've already gone far enough.
I am beginning to accept that there is always more to life than what we're living. And based on the discomfort I feel from the messages of some of these songs, I know that the Lord is working on me in this. Asking me to loosen my grip on the predictability around me and opening my eyes to new growth ahead, which will only cause me to lean on Him a little harder.
The good news is that He is patient, and never loses hope in me. But the more I put things off and claim my rights to comfort, the more I am missing out on the fullness of the story.
It's my prayer that as these lyrics sink into my heart, that I wouldn't just sing them, but be completely awakened and have renewed vision, so that as Switchfoot sings, I may live it like a song.