I feel like I hit this wall every year... What did I sign up for?!
And it's about that time again... When the back to school hype ends along with the review lessons. And there are still 8 and a half months to go.
To be honest, I kind of thought I had it in the bag this fall... Only 3 boys, that I already knew well, and curriculum that covered all the bases. Not much to fret, right?
You see, there's a reason why I chose to specialize in elementary education. Teaching the basics like how to write your name, how to tie your shoes and counting up to 20 is right up my alley. Because I already know it like the back of my hand... There's no studying after hours.
But when you teach grade 6, 7 and 8, not all of it is the common sense that I'm used to teaching. Not at all. Today it stopped me in my tracks. And I began to look back on my commitment to teach these guys last year wondering - What was I thinking?
This year, more than ever, I'm on a learning curve. I'm reading up on the digestive system and mapping strategies while I chat on Skype. I'm analyzing my devotional books for prepositional phrases and subjective complements. I'm practicing algebraic formulas in the margins of my journal.
But even more than a learning curve, I'm realizing that it's a leaning curve, because ultimately I know that I just don't have what it takes to master this stuff. Broc (my brother) got all of the book smart genes between the two of us, and no matter how many hours I pour into studying, there are always pieces that I miss.
And so as I strive for the understanding that will help my boys get through the next lesson or the next test, I'm depending ever more desperately on the Lord to be my confidence, my direction, and ultimately my peace that He will get them through. That despite my knack for retaining all the pertinent facts, that He would provide for us as a class and that we would grow stronger together in Him. Through learning and through leaning.