During these days I've turned to the books of Psalms, and I've connected with the writings of David. One thing that I can really appreciate about him, is that he is always honest with God. He doesn't put on a show or cover up what he is feeling inside. He is completely real - sometimes blunt - and lets out his heartbreak and confusion. The Psalms are full of wonderful praises of thanksgiving and adoration to celebrate what God has done, but they are also full of David's heart cries when all seems lost.
I've been doing a lot of journalling, and I've been deliberate about bringing all of my problems to the Lord. I've prayed, I've offered up these struggles, and I've even complained. But what is amazing to me is that no matter what I emotions I experience, God understands and He meets me. He is here through it all. Of course, he doesn't zap everything back to how it should be. He does more. He offers himself. Being away from home seemed to compound all my problems this week because I felt so alone. But through these times of loneliness, I get to experience His presence so much more. He becomes evident in things that I would never realize without being in this place by myself. He is refining me and it's worth the pain because He is showing up.
And eventually, the ceiling drips stop. My body heals. The sun comes out. The mosquito's fly away (or maybe not... they are swarming around me even as I write this blog! haha). But the Lord brings restoration. He changes my heart. And above all these things, He has proven that He is more than enough.
Thank you for your continual prayer and support to me as these weeks and months go by... It encourages me more than you know!
I also wanted to give you an update on my involvement in the mission, and ask you to keep praying that I can find my 'spot'. I spoke with Rachel yesterday and she told me about English classes she has organized for the Hope House children. She offered for me to get involved in working with the little ones - singing alphabet songs, etc., which would be really fun. I'm also continuing to explore the children's church program and ways that I can plug into that. Finally, there is the school curriculum development that I have been encouraged to check out. Joanne, who is an American that came down to teach missionary children (just like me!), works for the mission and has lived in Haiti now for over 30 years. She is currently working on a Christian school curriculum that can be used in the School of Hope at the mission, as well as given out to other schools in Haiti. I have only met her once, but I really got excited from her passion about the ministry, and I hope to get to know her better and possibly assist her in this large task. So who knows!? I really don't think it's possible for me to carry out all of these responsibilities, but I am praying that the Lord will guide me to the ministries where I can be the most benefit.
Stay tuned..... :)