Bright Spots

I feel like every time I sit down to write a new blog I am flooded with so many different memories, stories and emotions... It's hard to know where to begin! 

This past week has been another blur of school days combined with team-building and outreach. At the beginning of the week, another church team arrived, and although I enjoy getting to know them, sometimes I get discouraged because I wish I could be more involved in the life of the mission with them... When teams arrive, they have so much work lined up for them around the mission and surrounding villages, and I often find myself wishing I could go along. Teaching takes up a lot more time then the standard school hours when you factor in prep work and marking, so I often get jealous of the other people on staff who get to go out and interact with the Haitian people. It's in times like this that I have to remind myself why I am here - I am here to teach these children. That is my priority! So although it may not be as glamorous as what the other staff members get to do, I still need to pour my heart into it and serve wholeheartedly. 

It's been pretty tough in school this week as I've been teaching some difficult math lessons - long division and decimals - and I've really had to lean back on the Lord. It is often easy for me to puff myself up and give myself credit for the training and experience I have as a teacher, as if I can do it all on my own. But in the difficult times of teaching and managing the kids this week, I have been reminded once again of my weakness and how I am so desperate for the Lord's patience and wisdom. I would not succeed in this task without His constant provision and guidance, and never want to forget how much I need Him... This week was just another reminder!

So let me tell you now about a bright spot in my week, which happened yesterday. It was Thursday so I had planned for a full day of teaching with the kids, but during lunch Cheryl suggested that we take the afternoon off and ride along into Cabaret to see the orphan kids with the team. I was so thrilled to be a part of the mission outreach and it was such a fun afternoon. The kids were the same children who stayed at the mission high school after their orphanage was destroyed from the hurricane, so a lot of them recognized me and blessed me with hugs and smiles. It was a joyful afternoon of singing and games, and I didn't want to leave. Near the end of our time, we got to bring out the children's meals of rice and beans, and I was amazed as we brought out the food how much the children looked after one another. Even though they were all hungry, it blessed my heart to see the older children feeding the younger ones, and despite the close quarters, I was impressed at how they all sat quietly and patiently until everyone was fed. These children have truly blessed me more than I can express in words! 

This weekend, I was also given the opportunity to go along to do kids clubs in the villages past Cabaret. So I've got to keep plugging away on my teaching prep for next week so I can afford to be out tomorrow! 

Thank you again for all of your love and prayers for me... I will leave you with some good news ~ I am coming home for Christmas! So I look forward to seeing you all in a few weeks!

Weekend Whirl

Good news everybody! We are now all on the same time!!! Since I have been in Haiti, the time between me and you people in Canada has been an hour different, but now that you have fallen back we are all on the same time. I don't know about you, but somehow to me, you all seem a bit closer. ;)

I want to begin by thanking all of you for your prayers for my ceiling... The leaking has stopped completely, so I have been able to rearrange my apartment back to normal... I'm actually sitting on my couch directly under where the leak was to write this blog and I am nice and dry! :)

The rest of my week was quite eventful leading up to halloween on Friday. I had the kids for two extended afternoons this week as a part of our new schedule, and then yesterday we had a fun day of dressing up for halloween.

I told the kids to create some crazy costumes with the clothes that they brought to Haiti, and it was amazing what wild creatures we were able to become. During the school morning, we also did a science experiment to create green slime, and in the evening the kids came around trick or treating to each of the staff apartments.

After trick or treating, we all headed down to the Hope House for movie night - One of my favorite parts of the week. I blogged earlier this month about my experience watching the movies with the kids, and once again, I was captured by the joy in that place. Sitting under a sky full of stars, watching 'A Bee Movie' projected onto the side of a cement wall surrounded by smiling children is definitely one of my favorite places in the whole world.

Despite the disappointments and struggles that I faced earlier in the week, I was once again reminded last night how much the Lord is blessing me here in Haiti, and what a joy it is to serve Him.

Tomorrow is church and I am really looking forward to the worship by Pastor Claudel - The music director. He leads such a wonderful team of musicians and singers, full of passion and praise. It is such a ministry to me to see them worship, and to hear familiar songs being sung in the Creole language. Over the past few weeks I have opted to sing the songs in English, but last week I purchased a songbook with all of the songs printed out in Creole, so I am slowly going to try to learn the songs in this new language!

I am also looking forward to observing the children's church program tomorrow during the service. After worship time, the children are dismissed to the school for games and songs while the pastor speaks. Last Sunday, Cheryl followed along with the kids and told me afterwards that I should go along next Sunday. She said that I would be a great benefit to the children's program if I would could get involved, since currently all of the children stay together in one small room and it is pretty chaotic. If it works out and depending how full my plate is, I may be able to give leadership in one area of the children's ministry - using the experience I've had in children's programs at our church, and help the coordinators develop more of an organized program. I know what some of you may be thinking - Does this mean I have to miss the message every Sunday? Well, actually, it wouldn't really bother me to miss out on the message since the language barrier prevents me from understanding the pastor... I'm sure I would learn a lot from the teaching if I could understand the language, but since I can't, it's been pretty boring to listening to 45-minute Creole sermons. It would be great for me to plug into an alternative program with the kids at that time instead of sitting in a pew feeling like I am going to fall asleep at any moment! ;)

I appreciate your prayers as I discern how I can best involve myself in the mission programs and ideas I can bring to the people involved. I will definitely keep you posted on my involvement in the programs in the weeks to come.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend and stay tuned for more news from Haiti in a few days!

Raining on the Inside

Well, I've only got a few minutes to write a brief post to share with you the events from last evening... After getting home from the grocery store around 4:30, I noticed some small puddles in the entrance of my apartment. It's become pretty normal in my house to have small drips from time to time, which is caused by an unknown leaky source somewhere above me, but it's never been too severe. However, while making and eating supper last night, I heard more water coming down, and assumed it was raining outside, until I felt the cushions of my couch and saw the water near my door. Looking up at my ceiling I saw a clear line of cracks and seeping water from my front door all the way to my kitchen (about 10 feet across the ceiling). The water was dripping quite consistently at this point and I knew that I needed to investigate the situation. 

I talked to Laurens next door and we began to ask Amy and Rachel upstairs if there were any water problems. We soon found out that during the day, the mission had run out of water (a common problem), so when Rachel's cleaner had come to clean the shower, she accidently left the tap on. So from the time the water truck came to when Rachel returned from the Hope House and turned off the shower (an undetermined time, but it was at least a few hours), the water was gathering in the cement between her floor and my roof which eventually began to leak from my ceiling.

Fortunately we identified where the water was coming from, which now means that Rachel's shower will need to be repaired. And I spent the evening moving furniture to avoid the wetness as well as spreading towels and pails from one end of my house to the other.

Luckily, when I woke up this morning the leak had decreased significantly, however it will probably be a few more days until all the water has drained completely. I've taken a few pictures of the damage that I will post for you to see soon.

I need to get back to my afternoon of teaching now, but I just wanted to send you that update and ask you for your prayers in this situation.

Even though it was a complete accident, it was a little discouraging at first to see my freshly painted and decorated apartment get damaged, and yet I have come to realize that it could have been a lot worse.

Thank you for praying along with me that the leaking will subside and that I can soon get back to living in a dry house... I guess it's another lesson for me to never take anything for granted in Haiti!

Seasons

Last night I had my first 'parent-teacher' interview!

I know it's quite a daunting thing for new teachers, but fortunately I didn't feel much stress. Each of my kids are very bright and it has been a pleasure to teach them so far. Looking ahead, there is of course a lot of work in store as I keep them each in step with the curriculum back home, as well as using my creative juices to combine as much 'fun' into the school day as I can... But it feels good to have one month already under my belt! :)

During the meeting, Laurens and Cheryl both shared the magnitude of their new roles at the mission, and how it would be of great assistance to them if I could extend my times with the children to two afternoons per week along with our Monday to Friday 8am-12pm school time. These past few weeks have been full in the afternoons as I've been getting my apartment more 'homey' (see picture!)

and planning the children's work for the week, but I am hoping to be of assistance to Laurens and Cheryl for the sake of their job roles. It is my hope that I can fall into more of a routine in the days ahead and be able to afford this extra responsibility. In addition, I will also plan to start my involvement in the Hope House activities beginning in November, so with all of these things coming together, I do often feel a little overwhelmed. I appreciate your prayers during this time that I would not feel too bogged down by all of these tasks, but be able to really pour myself into the ministries of each day. I tend to get stressed out when I look ahead to all of my future commitments, but I trust that the Lord will help me prioritize and get into a 'groove' where I can use the gifts He has given me.

I also wanted to tell you how much I've loved seeing the pictures of the leaves changing back in Wainfleet. I've been browsing through the Balls Falls party pictures on the church website, as well as the fall albums posted on facebook. Fall is one of my favorite times of year because the outdoors are fully vibrant with color, and I've missed that this season. Here in Haiti, the weather is still full-fledged summer heat, and as much as I can appreciate the warmth of the weather, I do miss the beauty of autumn back home.

Thinking about the changing seasons in weather also reminds me about the seasons in our lives. A song I've listened to these past few days has a line that sings 'All of my life in every season, You are still God and I have a reason to sing, I have a reason to worship'. I think about the seasons of my life - The times of abundance and peace and joy, as well as the times of heartbreak and struggle and pain. Through all of these seasons, I am thankful that the Lord doesn't change. He offers me the same hope and love He has always bestowed and because of that, I have a reason to worship Him.

Right now, I feel like I am in a bit of a dry season. Even though there is so much happening around me, I have become more aware of the distance of home and the comfort it brings. There have also been challenges in relationships and really discerning where I belong in this new place. But just like the song says, when I think about who my God is - the One who remains constant through every season - I do have a reason to sing, and for that I am so grateful. I want to remember not to dwell in disappointments but to count the blessings I have been given this day. 

Can you hear me singing? :)

Love is Enough

Last night I took the van der Mark children down to the Hope House. Every Friday night Rachel organizes a outdoor movie night for the kids, complete with 'big screen' (projected on to the side of the orphanage), and popcorn. Since Laurens and Cheryl have been away, I have been looking after the 3 kids, so we piled onto the ATV and headed down for some movie night fun!

When we arrived, I was once again greeted by a multitude of smiling faces, all eager to sit on my lap and hold my hand. It amazed me how many of us were able to fit on the two small benches outside, and how the children were completely mesmerized by a movie that wasn't even in their language. During the movie, I had to exit twice because two little boys who sat on my lap fell asleep, and when the movie was all over, I loved watching the children laugh and play while making their way back into their rooms for bedtime.

It was such a joyful time and it reminded me of the other times I've spent with the people of Haiti... The way I've watched the older children look out for and care for the little ones. The way they share and never leave out others. The way they sing and laugh and play barefoot in the hot sand. Not once have a seen a fight between children, or watched a crying child without someone to comforting them... The people here really care - It's the gardener who waits outside my door to wave and wish me a good day each morning. It's the cook in the kitchen who shares her bright smile whenever someone comes inside. It's the elderly men and women who walk halfway across the church just to give me a hug at greeting time.

These people love. Really love.

They are like a big happy family, and you don't have to 'be' anybody to share in the love. They aren't selfish or proud. 

They live. They love - A love with no inhibitions, so innocent, so true, so evident in their lives.

But sometimes I wonder how these people can love so much and be so content... How they can wake up and face the day ahead of them when they have lost their parents? or their children? or live in pain from disease? Without support from the mission, the majority of them would be homeless, hungry and poor... These people have nothing to their name, and yet they live like they have all the riches in the world.

It causes me look inside myself and wonder, could I be that content with nothing?

I guess the reason I am writing this today is because of a simple truth that I have been hit with lately - Love is enough.

The people of Haiti have displayed this so naturally and beautifully - Love is all they need. And not only do they receive it with open arms, they give it so freely. It's something - one of the only things - that never runs dry in Haiti.

I think about my life - The blessings that I haven't stopped receiving since I was born. For health, for food, for a roof over my head, for a family that loves me, for friends that are there for me, for an education... I could go on and on. And yet so many times, my life doesn't seem good enough. I have a long list of priorities, and when one of them hasn't been met, or when something doesn't quite go my way, I let it take over my attitude and withhold love that I could share. I've been thinking a lot lately about the simplicity of love, and how it's something we as Christians have been commanded to do. It says in 1 Corinthians that faith, hope and love remain - but the greatest of these is love.

What would it look like if I started giving out love in the capacity that it has been given to me? 

Not choosing who to love, or needing a reason to love, or wanting something in return for love... Loving people because that's what Jesus did.

I think it's so mind boggling that such a simple choice can make such a monumental change in someone. Love is the answer. War, pain, confusion, desperation, hunger, rejection, poverty - The answer is LOVE. And what brings it all together for me is that the God of the universe designed it this way.

God loved first.

Jesus lived and died for the sake of love.

And this love compels me to do the same. It's my turn.

For the amount of times I've put myself first and cared more about what people think or what I deserve - It's time to let it go. It's about time that I learn from these people in Haiti and begin to show how this love of Christ has changed me.

It's time to forget about what I think is right or wrong, or what I deserve, and it's time to let my worries and insufficiencies stop taking control of my attitude.

It's time to love.

This isn't a one time decision or a simple commitment. It's a constant choice and action and it's not easy. But how can I not love when God loved first? How can I not give when He gave everything? How can I not forgive when I have received indescribable grace?

This world is full of remedies... Full of ideas of how to 'fix' our problems. But what I have come to realize by watching the people of Haiti, is that the solution is not possessions or power or pride. It's love. And I definitely cannot do it alone, but with Jesus inside of me, I can be used as a vessel of His grace and joy and love.

I want to live in the love of my Father and give that love out today.

Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast. It is not proud, it is not rude, it is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8