Thursday, January 14, 2010

Shaken.

I don't know where to begin.
Was it just a bad dream?

Shock. Fear. Helplessness. Panic. Confusion. Desperation. Exhaustion. Grief. Chaos. Instability as the ground shakes under our feet.
These are some of the thoughts and emotions that we at the Mission of Hope have been experiencing since the earthquake hit late Tuesday afternoon.

The lasting effects of the devastation are only beginning to be revealed. Homes that have crumbled. Lives that have been lost. Families that have been broken. This country has been shaken. Not just physically, but emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

Yesterday my mom sent me a verse from Psalm 46. The words written by David have become so vivid in my mind as I read about how the mountains quake and nations being in uproar.
Somehow I have to be still and believe that our loving God allowed this to happen and He is in control and working things together for good even now.

Since the earthquake my sole responsibility has been to watch over the van der Mark and Rumford children. It's pushed me beyond what I thought I could handle as the aftershocks linger. As soon as the quivering begins, many of my kids relive the experience of the first severe shake. I have been tangibly aware of the Lord's peace in my heart as I have had the ability to speak calmly and comfort them, even though deep down the only thing I want to do is crawl into a corner and cry.

It's also been a struggle for me to stay up at the guesthouse while so much is happening down the mission hill. Even though my body is up here, playing board games and hauling mattresses for the kids to sleep on, my heart is out in the villages. I can't stop thinking about the children, the families, my Haitian friends who I know are safe, but I haven't been able to see them yet. I am trying my best to be strong and know that this is where the Lord has placed me for such a time as this - That I am here for a reason and the parents of these kids are depending on me so that they can do the work that they are trained to do.

This morning during our devotional time we went around the circle and shared what we can be thankful for even despite the damage that has taken place around us. The kids eagerly shared about their thankfulness that our homes are still standing, that our families and Hope House children are safe, and that we have clean water and food to eat. After during our prayer time I was reminded that we are abundantly blessed. We are safe. Our needs are being met while most of the country has lost everything. The Lord has protected us and is now enabling us to go out to bring hope to this broken land. May He receive all of the glory.

Thank you all for your continual prayers. I will update you more fully in the coming days.

11 comments:

Renee said...

Oh Diana, being strong those children must be such a battle but God has given you strength, courage and you know that He is trustworthy and in Control! All of your experiences last year taught you so many things and I know God will give you the strength to carry on through. We are praying and feeling sort of helpless so far away BUT I know that our prayers can do so much more! Cling tightly to God, He will be all you need!
Love and Prayers

Leeann said...

I have tears in my eyes as I write this.
I am praying for you and the kids, I wish I was there to help you comfort them! Continue to lean on God. Praise the lord that everyone at the Mission of Hope is safe.Praying Praying Praying!
Much Love and Many Blessings.

Debbie said...

Hi Diana...At times like this the Lord will reach down deep with in you and will draw up amazing strength within that you never knew existed...because it is Him...the Jesus that lives with in. For such a time as this you stand ....you just keep standing for Jesus...even though your legs may feel so weak...he will uphold you...The Lord is Near...
In the name of Jesus... Ken and I are praying for you....
Love Debbie

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Barb said...

Diana, Our thoughts and prayers are with you even though you do not know Richard & I. We know Cheryl and Laurens from Camp Kahquah. We rejoice that you are all safe but know that the Van Der Marks and the Rumfords must be exhausted. Know that God will give each of you the strength equal to the task that He has chosen for you! Glad you had a refreshing time at home before you had to experience this. May God richly bless each of you as you conintue to faithfully serve Him!

Shawna said...

Diana, I have been crying my heart out to God and yet praising Him for his faithfullness. You have been on my heart and in my prayers almost constantly. Please know that many miles away, you are being lifted up and supported in prayer. Stay strong and remember that we are standing with you. Love and prayers.

Laura said...

Diana!! You are so strong! I am so sure that you don't feel it, but you are. Know that you are in my prayers as you go through this! God has kept you and everyone there safe for a reason.

My school is fundraising for Haiti. You have our support here too!

Cling to Psalm 46, it's a great passage for your situation.

Love and prayers,

Laura

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Richard said...

Diana,
Our hearts are breaking. We know the Lord is with you, the staff,
the team.
I know you have been instrumental in keeping the children calm and safe. Give our love to Rachel and everyone else there.
Have you heard from Jocelin,Sindy or Fabio?
Love and prayers are going with you.Richard and Nelly

hootenannie said...

Thinking of you all the time, Diana. So thankful that MOH was spared, but praying for the surrounding villages and all of your dear friends. Thank you for loving Sarah so well - because of that, all of us Parsons love you.

Bobette said...

I am simple left speechless and not able to move in my spirit forward or backward - your needs are many and one's apt to think can prayer be enough - oh God there's too many questions, yet I am praying for I too am suffering from an illness that robs my body of energy and concentration, and as I read your blog I could truly pray and will do all I can to help!