Sunday, December 6, 2009


And I,
I'm desperate for You.
And I,
I'm lost without You.

I pondered the words to this song during worship in church this morning and realized how extremely counter-cultural they are.
We are a people of capability.
Independence and self-sufficiency is expected.
The more ducks you have in a row, the more successful you are.
Of course, we all have our moments... Little dependencies like stopping for directions or needing extra set of hands or getting some advice.
But that's not desperation.

Desperation is when there is nothing else you can do. Nothing else you can say.
When there is hopelessness. When there is despair.
Desperation requires us to be honest. Vulnerable. Transparent.
But that's just uncalled for in this day and age... It's translated as weak. Failing. Needy.
Nobody wants a label like that.

But the song... I'm desperate for You.
If you sing it. If you really mean it... It's true.
We're a people of desperation.
Desperate for acceptance. Desperate for satisfaction. Desperate for answers. Desperate for something more. Desperate for love.

It's easy to hide it under the radar. It can usually be masked.
But deep down there is a need that is reaching desperate proportions in each and everyone of us. We will do anything to find the cure. Everything except admit we're desperate.

I see it in the eyes of hungry children.
I hear it in the words of a friend.
I feel it in the crowd.

So what if I admitted that I'm desperate? What if I gave into the truth?
That I'm broken.
I'm in way over my head.
I'm lost and afraid.
And I'm desperate for You, Jesus.

I cannot do it on my own. I simply must lift up my hands and surrender.
Pure and utter weakness.
But Jesus doesn't smirk and tell me to smarten up like the world does.
His love for me isn't hindered.
He takes me in His arms.
He gives me peace that passes understanding. He whispers His love into my heart. And He covers every selfish motive with His perfect mercy and grace.
My life may be a spin of confusion, but He is the familiar foothold I can count on.

May our walls be broken down. May we find ourselves desperate. And may His grace and love be more than enough to pick up our pieces and fill us until we overflow with only Him.

1 comment:

Opa said...

O dear Diana! I just want you to know what a blessing your blogs are to Oma and I. Truth upon Truth are contained in this one and it puts me in the same category. thank you for using and sharing your gifts.We are waiting to see you soon. Love Opa. BY