i thank God i miss you.

Living in two different worlds leaves me with an inevitable reality: No matter where I go, there will always be someone I miss. The faces above capture a very small percentage of some of the dear friends in my life - people that I didn't know I needed 3 years ago.

In 2 weeks I will be returning back to Haiti and reuniting with most of them, only leaving me to miss the ones that I get to be with right now. It's never an easy trade-off one way or the other, but Ben Rector puts a good spin on it.

'Sometimes I feel these words are cheapened by the way they're said, we do not mean them.

From a million miles away words are all I know to say, so I am speaking to you write now...

I thank God I miss you.'

I thank God for bringing such beautiful people into my life.

I thank God for the memories we've shared through the valleys and the summits.

I thank God for each one of you who has shown me a glimpse of what real community and love and joy look like. Thank you for being a shoulder to cry on, a reason to dance, and the most inspiring people I have ever known.

I thank God for bringing you into my life - some for a short time, and some for a lifetime.

I thank God I miss you.

Purpose in the process.

We have the idea that God is leading us toward a particular end or a desired goal, but He is not. The question of whether or not we arrive at that goal is of little importance. What we see as only the process of reaching an end, God sees as the goal itself. - Oswald Chambers

Often times in life I have expectations. Expectations of myself, of others, and of God.

I believe that if I pull my weight, and if others cooperate, and if God is what I believe Him to be, then my life will reap the benefits. It's like a math calculation... Equate in the proper variables and you should end up with the desired product. Sure, there can be hiccups along the way, but nothing too costly, and in the end it will be worth it because with everything working in harmony, the desired goal can and will be attained.

Unfortunately I have a far-too large and ever-growing collection of stories and experiences that don't fit into this cookie-cutter model I set up for myself. No matter how high I keep my chin up, the reality of life is harsh. It leaves me asking questions without answers.

I don't have to list examples here. We all have them - A bad diagnosis. A lost job. A broken relationship. An abandoned child. A homeless family. And on and on it goes.

The beginning quote from 'My Utmost for His Highest' was a reminder to me this week that often my human perceptions of what our lives are about aren't always what we want to admit. A happy life of rainbows and lollipops may be endearing, but who needs God in that? The more we seek out a life free of pain, the less we recognize God's purpose in the midst of it.

What Oswald is trying to say here is that there is little we can learn about His character unless He takes us through the storm. Without being able to look back and testify His strength in my darkest moments, I wouldn't be able to understand who God is. And ultimately, our lives aren't about a particular outcome. It's not about succeeding, or reaching the summit, or redeeming our pride, or overcoming our illness or even saving the world. Instead, it's about us becoming closer and more reliant on a God who loves us more than we can fathom, and trusting Him above all the tangible things on earth.

For the things that concern me today, and for the people closest to me, I am praying not just a matter of winning and losing, building and breaking, surviving and dying. Instead of wanting to just reach the other side in one piece, I pray that we will find purpose in the process and faithfulness in the Father as we pick up the broken pieces. He is the only One who can put us back together.

Happy trails.

Praise Him under open skies, everything breathing praising God

In the company of all who love the King

Let us dance, let us sing

It could be heavenly

Turn the music loud and sing

Lift your voice to heaven

Lift up your head and sing

To the One who gave his love

This is our offering

Lift your voice to heaven

Lift up your head and sing

To the One who gave His son

Here our lives we bring

From wherever you are

Wherever you've been

He's been there

So let his people sing

And it's so wonderful to be here now

Wherever you are wherever you've been

He's been there

These lyrics from David Crowder Band have been humming through my brain over the past few days. On the backseat of a motorcycle, in the passenger seat of a pickup, and in the driver's seat of my mom's Mini... Cruising happy trails and back roads past lush vineyards, rows of cornfields, towering spruce trees, tiger lilies, mailboxes, sprinklers, fruit stands, freshwater lakes and old farmhouses. How blessed I feel to be home in the heart of a Canadian summer!

Morning song.

This morning I was awakened at 5am by birds outside my open window.

My instinct was to roll over and rest some more, so I did. Except I couldn't fall asleep. The harder I tried to drift back to dreaming, the more birds added to the chorus, and the louder they became. My newly-woken mind began to critique why birds have to start their song so early... For goodness sake, it was still dark out! But the sound continued and increasingly more birds added their unique harmonies.

So I gave in. I would like use romanticized language here and say that the birds beckoned me outdoors to the dawn, but I'm afraid due to the hour, it was more in the form of reluctance to be dragged out of bed.

As I reached the doors of our back porch, I saw the deep violet tone of the sky with a hint of colour at the horizon. No turning back now. So I wrapped myself in a blanket and watched the sun creep it's way into the day. The backyard was so still. So entranced by the dawn. Everything was frozen in time except for the continual change of colours and ever growing light of the sky. And the birds were still singing.

As I sat bundled in the patio chair, I think I learned something this morning. The birds do this same routine every single day (I just usually prefer to sleep through it). They do it in Canada, and they do it in Haiti, and they do it all over the world. The greet the morning with singing. And they don't just wait for the light. They sing in the dark. They make music even before they see the sun.

It's something that I think I need to realize in my life. Often, I only sing or praise the Lord when the sun is shining on me. In the darkness I easily lose my gumption to see signs of the morning, and I would rather sleep and be waken when it's over.

And yet if I would only take a lesson from the birds, to wait faithfully for the Lord. If I would praise Him simply for who He is and not because of my external circumstances. The Bible promises if I do press onto to know Him, He will appear, just as the sun rises (Hosea 6:3). I hope you can be encouraged by the birds today, just as I was. In the darkest disappointments of my life, I want to worship and believe that hope will rise. And I want to sing about it.

My home and native land.

I've been a little MIA on the blog front recently.

I made it home 10 days ago and dove headfirst into a flurry of activity, marrying off my dear friend Vicki, and reuniting with the people I love most.

Today is Canada day and how good it is to be in this beautiful land. I woke up and met my dad on the back porch where we looked out to the open space of the backyard and beyond. The crisp mornings, the mature trees that canopy long country roads, and the shadows cast by the sun going down way past Haiti's 6pm norm is all too wonderful for words.

I'm so thankful today for Canada, and for the other people and places around the world that have captured my heart.

I look forward to sharing these next two months with you, true north strong and free!